“You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last! But, you’ll get through it.”

I said to myself, that I would always be transparent when I started writing again. I am going through this journey of being separated and single and choosing to be happy at this current moment in my life. It seems as though this is the season for everything to fall apart in a relationship. Some of us are struggling with the decision to separate from a marriage that has taken its last course. It takes a strong woman to admit that it’s time to let go of what once was out of her marriage. I grappled with the decision before to separate from my marriage because I always wanted it to work because I didn’t get marriage to get a divorce. Things change and not always for the better. I bear with the decision because I was never raised to quit but I wasn’t raised to be used. I believe that some women, to include me, give their all-in relationships with unlimited boundaries when we are in love. Unconditional love! However, there are times when motives are clear from one party and not attentive from the receiving end.

The day I decided to leave my husband for the fifth time was after his 48^thbirthday. It wasn’t the birthday; it was what he said that was the catalyst of the demise of our marriage. I was always told that you never give a person another opportunity to have you look like a fool. I gave him numerous opportunities and I looked like a dumb ass woman in love. After being told so many times that they no longer wanted the marriage; I made it up in my mind that it was time to go. Yes, we went to the initial counseling on four separate occasions (I called, we attended, and he walked out)! The normal gifts when he “messed up” and the 80% of gift giving was associated with complaints.

“When a woman knows her worth and deserves what she asks for; she is made to look crazy.” I was emotionally drained and tired, but I prayed and felt that my faith and work would change the situation. “But it didn’t.” The reality didn’t set in until I left the house. I left the house with our children and started to live life over alone. These past three months have been hell, but I know I’m not alone with a journey like this. Although it has been three months, my mind left the relationship years ago due to his barriers and my unwillingness to take any more of his crap. While transitioning through this separation; I have taken a stance on what will make me become healthier by prioritizing my happiness.

I wait for the day and time for clarity with “Beautiful moments and Life Experiences!”